$435 for feeding the deer? Conspiracy?
Nightmares last night. Cold sweat. Shaking. The works. When spring rolls around in Ashland, it’s hard to imagine you could worry about anything. I mean the deck at the Breadboard is open and you can eat great yummy food and the servers and bussers and cooks are cheerfully slaving away catering to your every whim and the views are breathtaking. I mean, the view from the deck alone is worth paying for – I mean, you could buy an $800,000 dollar house in Ashland and get the same view but no one would make you breakfast and lunch and do the dishes for you and you don’t have pay property tax. But getting back to my problem, my revelation, the source of my agonizing dread … There is a conspiracy in Ashland, and I’m afraid it might involve the highest levels of our local government. I’m just saying – I mean if I don’t say it… I just – I just can’t ignore it. We each have a responsibility to stand up for each other. Ok, here goes… I was walking above Lithia Park last evening and I saw what “appeared to be” one of our top elected public servants engaged in what “appeared to be” a verbal exchange with several deer. And now, if you feed a deer, there just “happens” to be a fine of $435… Something’s up. Paranoid? I say where there’s smoke there is most definitely fire. I mean, we all knew the deer were pretty much taking over Ashland. But now – with what certainly appears to be a steady source of significant financing – I just – I just don’t know. If they have funding it’s GAME OVER FOLKS! No overtime. It’s hard to believe I’m the only one who’s put it together. I gotta eat. I need another delicious big ole’ Marionberry muffin.