The Bard – 364 Years of Classic Stuff

I was in the Breadboard the other day politely eavesdropping on a conversation between a mom and her pre-teen son and he was a big OSF fan and mentioned that if the Bard were alive today he’d have just had his 364th birthday and as she nibbled on her huge and scrumptious home-made Marionberry muffin that is baked daily at the Breadboard (not at home) she said that Shakespeare actually never existed and there is a very well-documented conspiracy theory supporting this claim. The son was deep in thought, and the Mom maybe thought he was offended… again… and the conversation was over. Then the son asked her why she was so big on using organic pesticide because if it’s purpose is to kill things then what’s up with that. Then he asked her why she is so big on recycling everything but she uses two paper towels when one would suffice or why use paper towels at all? And why were she and Dad building a house when there were lots of older houses available and why did they buy a pure bred dog when lots of ‘em at the animal shelter needed homes and, if Shakespeare never existed how is it that his cannon is so harmonious and then by the same line of reasoning, if a big bang results in chaos why is the universe so orderly and he said he can explain why the sky is blue and why it feels like time is speeding up as you grow older but can she? And as their meal came she gave a defeated sigh and said at least they can both agree there is no such thing as gourmet British food and the son shrugged and nodded and she asked for a second muffin.

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